Attending a funeral service is stressful for everyone. You are mourning a loved one and you will want to offer condolences to the family and closest friends at the service, but you may not be sure what to say. This is one concern that many Delmar, NY funeral home directors have seen and they want to make this process easier for everyone. We have gathered some of their recommendations when it comes to knowing what to say to people who are grieving.
Offer Sympathy but Do not Sermonize
When someone is mourning, it is never a good idea to offer them your own advice or a retelling of your own experiences with grief. This is a time to listen to those who are hurting, so express your sympathy but do not sermonize. Many people think that by saying the right thing they can help the person out of their grief, but this is not the case. Grief takes time and it is always better to listen than to try to make them feel better with platitudes.
Ask Specific Questions
Asking someone how they are at a funeral can be tricky. The person will not want to tell you exactly how they are doing but they will also not want to say they are “fine.” This is where asking specific questions can be the best thing. Instead of asking, “how are you?” ask “have you been able to sleep?” or “has preparing the service helped or made the grief worse?” Most directors and employees at funeral homes in Delmar, NY, will tell you that these kinds of questions can make a difference.
Make Specific Offers
This is also a very important thing to keep in mind. Unless you are very close to the grieving person, they may not want to take you up on a vague offer of help. They might feel that they are imposing on you. Instead, make specific offers. Offer to bring them food on a particular day, or to run errands, or to help clean up after the service. Simple things like this can truly help with the stress a person might feel, so be sure to offer your help with as much or as little as you can.
Offer Safety of Expression
Many times, people who are grieving can be angry as well as sad. By letting them know that they can say what they need to say in front of you and that you will not judge them for it can be a huge relief. Let them express themselves however they want to and be sure they know they can talk to you.
It is common not to know what to say at a funeral service. Listening and expressing sympathy in a simple manner can be exactly the right thing to do, as most Delmar, NY funeral home directors will tell you. Learn more by contacting McVeigh Funeral Home, Inc., located at 208 N Allen St, Albany, NY 12206. Call (518) 489-0188!
What a Delmar, NY Funeral Home Recommends You Say at a Funeral
Attending a funeral service and expressing your sympathy can feel daunting. Learn what you can say to those who are grieving to offer comfort and condolences in a respectful manner.