Tips on Talking to Children about Cremation
Cremation services in Loudonville, NY, do their best to cater to your family’s grief while treating your loved one in their care, but there is only so much they can do.
Difficult as the conversation might be, no one is in a better position than you to ease your little ones into what has happened, what needs to be done, and why.
Now, many grown people don’t know much about death and cremation, to begin with, much less know what to say to children when it happens.
If this is you right now, then the tips below are for you. You will come to find you don’t have to have all the answers to help your child(ren) through this incredibly sensitive time.
1. Take their age and personality into account
The first thing you want to do is consider the capacity of the child to understand what you are about to say so you can pick your words accordingly.
Likewise, the kid’s personality can also inform the flow of the conversation and how you present it. For example, are you going to need illustrations? How might they react? Would they want all the details, or might they need a bit of persuasion first?
2. Answer only what they ask when possible
Working with your child’s personality also helps tailor the scope of the talk. Kids are often naturally curious, so they might ask questions that help you determine how much of the situation they’ve been able to take in.
That can be your guide on what they need to know right now. On the contrary, knowing your child well also means realizing it might not be that easy.
If you’re dealing with the more reserved type, you may need to ask if they have any questions to get them to reveal what’s on their mind.
3. Be honest but tactful
As safe as it can be to hide behind euphemisms, you don’t want to be so vague that you pass the wrong message or complicate things for the young child.
Then again, as much as you want to avoid using ‘sleeping’ instead of ‘dead,’ try not to get too graphic around the presumably jarring part like the cremation process.
There may be some cultural or religious nuances there, but the idea is to be straightforward about the reality of what has happened but as gentle as possible in your delivery.
4. Try to stay calm during the conversation
With the pain of the loss still fresh, there is no telling which direction your emotions might take during this conversation. It doesn’t help that the young person you are trying to explain to might not be mature enough to understand the gravity of the situation.
They might make an outlandish comment or not seem interested enough. It might be your inner turmoil tearing you apart as you try to simplify perhaps the most painful event of your life.
It helps to collect your thoughts and make it a goal to keep your cool to the best of your ability before you go into it. If it gets too hard, take some time to breathe before picking it back up.
5. Leave the door open
Finally, it may not be realistic to expect to make all the difference with one conversation. No matter how the talk goes, whether the kid flows with you or needs some time, let them know that you’re open to revisiting the conversation at any time.
They can come to you with more questions if they arise, and you can ask after their feelings now and again, but don’t be pushy.
It’s why it’s all the more important to be cool enough the first time around, so they know it’s safe to bring it up again if they need to.
If you need further assistance navigating this topic, consider reaching out to a Loudonville, NY, cremation service for guidance. We are at your fingertips, literally. Don’t hesitate to give us a call or visit us today.
