Saying the Right Words to Someone Who is Grieving

Grief is a painful process that no one ever wants to experience. It is an emotional response to a life-changing event and can take many forms. Anyone who has experienced losing someone they love knows how challenging it can be. As a funeral home in Guilderland, NY, we understand that trying to find the right words can also be quite embarrassing.

We all know what to generally do in these situations: provide support, sympathize, listen and ask questions. These are all great ways to show support to someone who has suffered the loss of a loved one.

However, most people would rather know exactly what to say to someone in this situation to avoid giving the wrong impression or making things worse. Here, we have some examples you can work with to comfort a person in mourning and help them get through this difficult time.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”

This is probably the most common phrase people use when they find out someone has experienced a loss. It is a sincere expression that acknowledges the loss and shows that you care about the mourner’s feelings. Although this is a good thing to say, it’s also one of the most overused statements.

“How are you feeling?”

This is one of the best questions to ask someone who has just lost a loved one because it focuses on them, not you. It shows that you are genuinely interested in how they’re doing and allows them to talk about their feelings comfortably. When they respond, give them the space to talk, even if the feelings they express surprise you.

“Would you like me to help you with anything?”

If someone loses someone close to them, there is certain to be a void. As much as no one else can fill this void, it doesn’t hurt to try and do what you can on the surface.

They might need some extra help around the house or with everyday tasks such as grocery shopping or even fixing meals for themselves. If possible, offer to help out with these things so as not to add stress to all they have going on.

“Is there anything I can do?”

This question is similar in tone and intent to “Would you like me to help with anything?” Nevertheless, it leaves open a broader range of possibilities for what exactly “it” is that needs doing for the bereaved.

Remember, this person is likely feeling vulnerable right now. Chances are good that even small acts of kindness will be extremely meaningful.

“Can I come over and visit?”

If there is nothing else that needs doing, another way to support a grieving person is to offer your company. This reinforces that they are not alone, even if it feels that way at the moment. It also allows you to check in on how they are doing.

It’s important to ask before you plan to visit, especially if you are unsure if it’s appropriate.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

It’s been said before, but it bears repeating: people who grieve need to talk about the one they’ve lost. This question gives them a chance to talk about the deceased and their feelings surrounding their loss without having to do all the work of getting a conversation going.

It also shows that you care enough about them and their loss that you are willing to listen whenever they need someone to do so.

Say nothing.

Sometimes, saying nothing is the most meaningful thing you can do. If you don’t know what to say, or if there’s nothing specific that you can do to help, then sitting quietly with someone and being there for them is often the best course of action.

Just knowing that someone cares about them and is willing to be there for them can be a huge comfort for the griever.

Remember to visit or call our Guilderland, NY, funeral home today if you need further support or any of our services.